11 years

I have mainly picked on boys because they were the most mischievous and little girls are cute and so sweet until this age. Now comes the time in every parents life that little girls are coming of age and developing a real sense of who they are, the power they have and who their parents don’t want them to be.
My 2nd daughter would have candy and sometimes suckers and her brothers would bug her and bug her share. She learned how to inflict her own type of justice on them. They would beg and beg for her candy so she would tell them,"Okay." She would then proceed to the bathroom and unwrap all of her suckers ever so gently, suck and lick on them for awhile, then wrap them back up and give each of her brothers one. Those boys were so pleased with her generosity. She’d sit back on the couch and smile as she watched those boys eat their suckers. So far I am the only one who knows and I am not telling.
Every year we go camping as a family. I really look forward to it. The kids are so happy, I’m happy, everyone is happy. At night I take a quarter to the showers to wash the days mud off. One night I was doing what I normally do. I had a quarter, clean clothes, soap, shampoo, toothpaste etc. I looked forward to getting clean and crawling into my sleeping bag. There was only one shower available, so I took it. I got undressed and put my clothes down on the bench but stopped in time when I saw jelly fish, they were the tiny clear ones that don’t sting but are slimy. I scooped them down on the floor and proceeded to take my shower. There in the drain was more jellyfish. Being determined to take my shower I stepped over them. I tried to adjust the water temperature but guess what! More Jelly fish hanging from the handles, faucet, showerhead, in the soap dish, and well basically all over. Flashes of a plane wreck with these poor jellyfish in their crash positions ran through my mind. I believe my last count was 50. I DID take my shower and got out, not feeling any cleaner mind you. I knew those jelly fish had not walked or swam in there but had been strategically placed by someone’s’ brats. I stormed back to camp ranting and raving about how kids these days are not disciplined and that the ones that did that were obviously never taught any better because the parents were probably inbred. I went on and on that those parents needed to be horsewhipped and I was so glad that my kids were better behaved than that. I found out 3 years later that it had been my daughter and her friend that had done the decorating. She did not think that I would pick that particular stall. She knew how mad I was and felt it was better NOT to fess up at that time. I learned a great lesson that day,"If you think your child is not capable of something, think again!"
The old adage,"Children should be seen and not heard" had to have been thought of by a parent who had a child at this age. It is at this time that children learn to perfect their bodily functions, namely burping skills. I have to admit my dainty little feminine daughter was better at belching than any boy. She could let go with the loudest, longest and heartiest burps around. I thought to myself, "She is really going to win some guys heart someday and it will probably be a drunks’."
My sons who are ever so quick to compete learned that their sister could burp better but they could cut loose with bodily wind better. It is amazing to see someone be that crude and yet be so proud. They’d reply, "Silent but deadly." I believe that even the animal kingdom has more scruples than boys do. The worse they smelled, the better and believe me they had contests against whom was the stinkiest. It was all the better if a person almost passed out. We had to change their diet when the E.P.A. sent us a letter that said we were going to be fined because our children were eating a huge hole in the ozone.