I had finally made it to this time in my child’s life when I would have to say "Goodbye". I cried over each one leaving the nest and every time the emptiness in the house became a little more overwhelming. I’d stand by and watch them take the last of their stuff out, their excitement was definitely there. Now it is their turn to experience all the things that I have talked about in this book. Thoughts ran through my mind, "Will he be ok?" and "I wonder if I did ok as a mother." I then realized that nothing will be the same now and that I had just become a ‘has been’. During the first few weeks, I’d go into their rooms and stand, hoping to catch something in the air that might help me remember something I may have forgotten at some time. All 18 years flashed through my mind, my thoughts would drift back to the good times and the bad times and wipe the tears away. It hadn’t been that long ago that he was just a little boy running through the house screeching with delight or showing some cool bug he found. It wasn’t that long ago I was kissing her booboos away or sewing clothes for her or putting her hair in pigtails. When the phone would ring, my heart would beat hard and I would pick of the phone hoping that it was one of the kids telling me that they still needed me but it was all for naught as it was usually someone else. Where had all the time gone? While exerting energy to help them prepare for their future away from home I had neglected to prepare myself for this moment.
I realized that my life had been full and busy and how I hardly ever had any time for the things I wanted to do. All of a sudden, a smile crossed my lips, TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have time to pursue some of the things I have always wanted to do. I realized that I didn’t have to get dinner done at a certain time or trying to find someone that might watch my kids for me. I felt joy over this new found freedom, so many avenues I can follow up on. The phone rings and with me still in deep thought I’d answer. "Mom, can I come over and do my laundry?" Of course I’d say yes. Then soon a few more rings and eventually most of my kids are at the house. While I was doing their laundry they would be invading the kitchen. "What do you have to eat?’ They begin piling food into their mouths, on their plates, and in their pockets. They acted like they hadn’t eaten for a month I leaned back against the way and realize that nothing has really changed. I will always be ‘mom’ and no matter what might happen after that, there will always be small children in a way and I’ll always be needed. I smiled and knew that the things I wanted to do could wait a little longer. I knew that I could do those things once they were settled down and married.
You ask, "Would I do it gain?" You bet and more of it.
