2nd year

I love children but something happens when they reach 2 yrs. old. It seems it is downhill for the next 16 years. For the first year my little bundle from heaven had grown and done a lot of things that were cute and real milestones. I would spend a lot of energy preparing and training him. I set his feet in the path that would make me the most proud. The something happened that I prayed never would. He discovered he had a brain, which meant ……………………………………………………..independent thinking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was the end of a beautiful relationship. My husband and I had to resort to spelling everything because our little trooper had learned to talk. Which is really bad if you can’t spell.
The terrible twos are quite an understatement. Our children had 2 years of being cute to make up for. He did just the opposite of what we told him, and what’s worse he had perfected the fine art of screaming. Personally I would rather have a bucket of ice poured down my pants than to have a 2-year-old scream in my ear.
Next came potty training. Boys are naturally adventuresome and I found it harder to potty train a boy than a girl. So I had to be more creative. I’d put objects in the toilet and let my son play "sink the Bismarck". Soon he got very good with his aim and he seemed to like the idea of hitting targets so much so that he practiced until he could hit a fly off the wall in a single shot or hit the mole on my cheek at 20 paces. Many times I could have sworn that I heard the theme song from "The Good the Bad, and the Ugly" playing in the background. It was at this time that he also realized that he could make things disappear when he flushed the toilet. We had many things disappear, to him this was very exciting and to our cat when he tried to flush her.
It was quite disturbing when my son went through his nudity phase. He’d strip naked and then take off outside while I wasn’t looking. He’d be running up the street, smiling, waving, and blowing kisses to all onlookers. He seemed to think he was some kind of sex symbol. ‘Oh, oh here comes mom in hot pursuit. He thought it was a game of tag and would run faster squealing with delight. I’d have to run, jump and tackle him. I’d apologize to the neighbors and assure them that this was not a behavior I condoned while I am spanking his bare butt. He, on the other hand would be winking, and telling everyone, "Catch you on the flip side, babe!"
Small children can be very scary. They are into everything and from a very early age everything goes into their mouths. I had made bubbles for my 2 older kids. Without thinking I set the glass on the edge of the table. The kids were having fun blowing the bubbles. My 2-year-old walked over and seeing the cup believed it was something to drink and downed the bubble concoction. Her started spitting and sputtering, everytime he tried to cry or cough, and the only thing that came out was bubbles. Bubbles everywhere. My 2 older kids saw the humor in this and laughed but I was frantic. I ran him into the bathroom to wash him off but all I got was more bubbles. "Lawrence Welk where are you?!!!!!!"
This kid was like a human bubble machine. Thank goodness all ended up ok.
I’m a firm believer that kids should remain in their cribs until the age of accountability, which is 18 in my book. I had to learn the hard way. My oldest son would wake up and decide to wake me up by whatever means he could devise that morning. I had the pleasure of waking up to dirt being patted on my face as if her were trying to repot my nose or coming out of a sound sleep with a pencil being jabbed up my nose coming in contact with that part of the brain that senses pain. I know the pencil was sharp because the pain was.